Ich bin auch auf der suche nach den deutschen texten dazu, ob ich die nicht eh auf meinem PC hab, kommen mir nämlich sehr bekannt vor, nur klingen sie auf englisch doppelt so goil
mfG Puma 8)
Was sich Piloten und Fluglotsen zu sagen haben!
Moderator: JaBoG32 Stab
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Puma
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FARM_Mohamed
- Advanced Member
- Beiträge: 553
- Registriert: 19. Aug 2004, 19:04
hier noch nen paar:
[edit] hier noch ein sehr cooler
A deer is on the runway... so...
Tower: Cessna XXX cleared for take-off.
Student: "What should I do? What should I do?"
Inst: "What do you think you should do?"
(think-think-think)
Std: "Maybe if I taxi toward him it'll scare him away."
Inst: "That's a good idea."
(Taxi toward deer, but deer is macho, and holds position.)
Tower: Cessna XXX cleared for take-off, runway NN.
Std: "What should I do? What should I do?"
Inst: "What do you think you should do?"
(think-think-think)
Std: "Maybe I should tell the tower."
Inst: "That's a good idea."
Std: Cessna XXX, uh, there's a deer down here on the runway.
(long pause)
Tower: Roger XXX, hold your position. Deer on runawy NN cleared for immediate departure.
(Two seconds, and then -- I presume by coincidence -- the deer bolts from the runway, and runs back into the woods.)
Tower: Cessna XXX cleared for departure, runway NN. Caution wake turbulence, departing deer.
It had to be tough keeping that Cessna rolling straight for take-off.
[/edit]
Pilot to tower . . . pilot to tower . . . I am 300 miles from land . . . 600 feet over water . . . and running out of fuel . . . please instruct!
Tower to pilot . . . tower to pilot . . . repeat after me: "Our Father, which art in heaven . . ."
ZK-ABC: "Wellington tower, this is Alpha Bravo Charlie. Could you turn the runway lights on please?"
WN TWR: "Alpha Bravo Charlie, this is Wellington Tower, the Airport is closed by fog, you cannot land over."
ZK-ABC: "Wellington Tower, this is Alpha Bravo Charlie, I have landed, but I can't find the Hangar over."
A Huey Cobra practicing autorotations during a military night training exercise had a problem and landed on the tail rotor, separating the tail boom. Fortunately, it wound up on its skids, sliding down the runway doing 360s in a brilliant shower of sparks. As the Cobra passed the tower, the following exchange was overheard:
Tower: "Sir, do you need any assistance?"
Cobra: "I don't know, tower. We ain't done crashin' yet!"
"There I was" at C-130 Combat Air Tactics School where they teached us to go low & slow and stay alive. One day we were pitted against F-16s from Arkansas.
Once we were in the air, one of the Vipers got the jump on us, he slowed down to make the kill. We outturned him at that slow speed (Luck? Skill?) and put him at our 12. As he turned away from us to go get some smash for another run, our AC couldnt resist squawking out "Fox-2! Fox-2!"
I'd like to quote what the Viper pilot said through the heavy breathing and grunts of his high-g turn but all we could make out was some word that started with an "F" and "you"!
During joint exercise in Germany an USAF and German F-4 are practicing low-level in Southern Germany near the Swiss Border. As they approach the border they hear a call on Guard "Unidentified aircraft nearing Swiss border, identify yourself". Both pilots maintain radio silence and do not answer. The Swiss repeat the transmission twice without success. The next transmission reads: "Unidentified aircraft, identify yourself or we will send our interceptors". After which the German pilot replies: "Will you send one or both of them".
I was told that an F-4 pilot out of MCAS Beaufort, SC flew under the Savannah, Ga. bridge (possible). The story goes that the RIO was so mad that he threatened to eject if the pilot attempted it again.
The pilot proceeded to do it again... inverted!
A young guy in an F-14 fighter was flying escort for a B-52 and generally being a nuisance, acting like a hotdog, flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber. The hotdog said over the air, "Anything you can do, I can do better."
The veteran bomber pilot answered, "Try this hot-shot." The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level.
Perplexed, the hotdog asked, "So? What did you do?"
"I just shut down two engines, kid."
https://www.f-16.net/humor.html
cass
[edit] hier noch ein sehr cooler
A deer is on the runway... so...
Tower: Cessna XXX cleared for take-off.
Student: "What should I do? What should I do?"
Inst: "What do you think you should do?"
(think-think-think)
Std: "Maybe if I taxi toward him it'll scare him away."
Inst: "That's a good idea."
(Taxi toward deer, but deer is macho, and holds position.)
Tower: Cessna XXX cleared for take-off, runway NN.
Std: "What should I do? What should I do?"
Inst: "What do you think you should do?"
(think-think-think)
Std: "Maybe I should tell the tower."
Inst: "That's a good idea."
Std: Cessna XXX, uh, there's a deer down here on the runway.
(long pause)
Tower: Roger XXX, hold your position. Deer on runawy NN cleared for immediate departure.
(Two seconds, and then -- I presume by coincidence -- the deer bolts from the runway, and runs back into the woods.)
Tower: Cessna XXX cleared for departure, runway NN. Caution wake turbulence, departing deer.
It had to be tough keeping that Cessna rolling straight for take-off.
[/edit]
Pilot to tower . . . pilot to tower . . . I am 300 miles from land . . . 600 feet over water . . . and running out of fuel . . . please instruct!
Tower to pilot . . . tower to pilot . . . repeat after me: "Our Father, which art in heaven . . ."
ZK-ABC: "Wellington tower, this is Alpha Bravo Charlie. Could you turn the runway lights on please?"
WN TWR: "Alpha Bravo Charlie, this is Wellington Tower, the Airport is closed by fog, you cannot land over."
ZK-ABC: "Wellington Tower, this is Alpha Bravo Charlie, I have landed, but I can't find the Hangar over."
A Huey Cobra practicing autorotations during a military night training exercise had a problem and landed on the tail rotor, separating the tail boom. Fortunately, it wound up on its skids, sliding down the runway doing 360s in a brilliant shower of sparks. As the Cobra passed the tower, the following exchange was overheard:
Tower: "Sir, do you need any assistance?"
Cobra: "I don't know, tower. We ain't done crashin' yet!"
"There I was" at C-130 Combat Air Tactics School where they teached us to go low & slow and stay alive. One day we were pitted against F-16s from Arkansas.
Once we were in the air, one of the Vipers got the jump on us, he slowed down to make the kill. We outturned him at that slow speed (Luck? Skill?) and put him at our 12. As he turned away from us to go get some smash for another run, our AC couldnt resist squawking out "Fox-2! Fox-2!"
I'd like to quote what the Viper pilot said through the heavy breathing and grunts of his high-g turn but all we could make out was some word that started with an "F" and "you"!
During joint exercise in Germany an USAF and German F-4 are practicing low-level in Southern Germany near the Swiss Border. As they approach the border they hear a call on Guard "Unidentified aircraft nearing Swiss border, identify yourself". Both pilots maintain radio silence and do not answer. The Swiss repeat the transmission twice without success. The next transmission reads: "Unidentified aircraft, identify yourself or we will send our interceptors". After which the German pilot replies: "Will you send one or both of them".
I was told that an F-4 pilot out of MCAS Beaufort, SC flew under the Savannah, Ga. bridge (possible). The story goes that the RIO was so mad that he threatened to eject if the pilot attempted it again.
The pilot proceeded to do it again... inverted!
A young guy in an F-14 fighter was flying escort for a B-52 and generally being a nuisance, acting like a hotdog, flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber. The hotdog said over the air, "Anything you can do, I can do better."
The veteran bomber pilot answered, "Try this hot-shot." The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level.
Perplexed, the hotdog asked, "So? What did you do?"
"I just shut down two engines, kid."
https://www.f-16.net/humor.html
cass
[imgfhm]http://www.cass1ope1a.net/misc/jabog_cass.jpg[/imgfhm]
loooooooooooooooooooool! lmao. noch mehr davon!
Das Leben ist am schwersten, 3 Tage vor dem ersten
[imgdtl]http://people.freenet.de/paramedic1/FF.gif[/imgdtl]
[imgdtl]http://people.freenet.de/paramedic1/FF.gif[/imgdtl]
Mal was vom Segelfliegerfunk auf Kleinflugplätzen...
Pilot: Tower, please call me a fuel truck.
Tower: Roger. You are a fuel truck.
Tower: Delta Delta Whiskey, rollen Sie ueber Teerweg zwo null neun
Charlie und Mike zum GAT.
Pilot: Ah ... Teerweg zwo ...?
Tower: Das ist der kleine rechts. Sie sind gerade dran vorbeigerollt.
Pilot: Tower, da brennt ein Runway-Light.
Lotse: Ich hoffe, da brennen mehrere.
Pilot: Sorry, ich meine, es qualmt.
Tower: Lufthansa 893, number one, check for workers on the taxiway.
Pilot: Roger ... (Nach kurzer Pauser) ... We've checked the workers, they are all working.
Pilot: Good morning, Frankfurt ground, KLM 242 request start up and push back, please. (Turbinen starten und vom Terminal zurueckschieben lassen)
Tower: KLM 242 expect start up in two hours.
Pilot: Please confirm: two hours delay?
Tower: Affirmative.
Pilot: In that case, cancel the good morning!
Pilot: FLX 30, Kontrollraum, bitte kommen, wir haben nur noch wenige Liter Treibstoff. Erbitte Anweisungen!
Kontrollraum: Bitte geben Sie uns ihre Position an, wir haben Sie nicht auf unserem Radarschirm ...!
Pilot: Wir stehen auf der Landebahn 2 und moechten wissen, wann der Tankwagen kommt!
Tower: Cannot read you, say again!
Pilot: Again!
Tower: Hoehe und Position?
Pilot: Also ich bin 1,80 m und sitze ganz vorne links
Tower: Roger. You are a fuel truck.
Tower: Delta Delta Whiskey, rollen Sie ueber Teerweg zwo null neun
Charlie und Mike zum GAT.
Pilot: Ah ... Teerweg zwo ...?
Tower: Das ist der kleine rechts. Sie sind gerade dran vorbeigerollt.
Pilot: Tower, da brennt ein Runway-Light.
Lotse: Ich hoffe, da brennen mehrere.
Pilot: Sorry, ich meine, es qualmt.
Tower: Lufthansa 893, number one, check for workers on the taxiway.
Pilot: Roger ... (Nach kurzer Pauser) ... We've checked the workers, they are all working.
Pilot: Good morning, Frankfurt ground, KLM 242 request start up and push back, please. (Turbinen starten und vom Terminal zurueckschieben lassen)
Tower: KLM 242 expect start up in two hours.
Pilot: Please confirm: two hours delay?
Tower: Affirmative.
Pilot: In that case, cancel the good morning!
Pilot: FLX 30, Kontrollraum, bitte kommen, wir haben nur noch wenige Liter Treibstoff. Erbitte Anweisungen!
Kontrollraum: Bitte geben Sie uns ihre Position an, wir haben Sie nicht auf unserem Radarschirm ...!
Pilot: Wir stehen auf der Landebahn 2 und moechten wissen, wann der Tankwagen kommt!
Tower: Cannot read you, say again!
Pilot: Again!
Tower: Hoehe und Position?
Pilot: Also ich bin 1,80 m und sitze ganz vorne links
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JaBoG32_Laud
- Professional
- Beiträge: 5240
- Registriert: 24. Nov 2003, 14:05
Einen für Dirty: 
Boeing-Piloten erzählen sich:
Have you heard about the birdstrike of the Airbus 340?
It happened over the north-atlantic...
... and it was hit by the bird from behind!
und noch viele mehr unter:
[urlnra]http://www.eddh.de/unterhaltung/humor.html[/urlnra]
Boeing-Piloten erzählen sich:
Have you heard about the birdstrike of the Airbus 340?
It happened over the north-atlantic...
... and it was hit by the bird from behind!
und noch viele mehr unter:
[urlnra]http://www.eddh.de/unterhaltung/humor.html[/urlnra]
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exJaBoG32_Viper
- Advanced Member
- Beiträge: 546
- Registriert: 16. Okt 2004, 12:50
Am interessantesten dort find ich den:
Rhein Radar: "BAG(Speedway)XXX, restricting traffic is now 1 o'clock, 1 mile, 1000 high, right to left, Airbus 320. Report in sight."
BAGXXX: "Traffic in sight. Too close for missiles, switching to guns."
(Ob Dirty sowas auch schonmal rausgerutscht iss? )
Rhein Radar: "BAG(Speedway)XXX, restricting traffic is now 1 o'clock, 1 mile, 1000 high, right to left, Airbus 320. Report in sight."
BAGXXX: "Traffic in sight. Too close for missiles, switching to guns."
(Ob Dirty sowas auch schonmal rausgerutscht iss?
)Ich brauch keinen Schutzengel....Gevatter Tod kann nicht so schnell rennen wie ich fliege
Dies ist die Abschrift eines Funkgesprächs, das tatsächlich im Oktober 1995 zwischen einem US-Marinefahrzeug und kanadischen Behörden vor der Küste Neufundlands stattgefunden hat. Es wurde am 10.10.1995 vom Chief of Naval Operations veröffentlicht.
Amerikaner: Bitte ändern Sie Ihren Kurs 15 Grad nach Norden, um eine Kollision zu vermeiden.
Kanadier: Ich empfehle, Sie ändern IHREN Kurs 15 Grad nach Süden, um eine Kollision zu vermeiden.
Amerikaner: Dies ist der Kapitän eines Schiffs der US-Marine. Ich sage noch einmal: Ändern Sie Ihren Kurs.
Kanadier: Nein. Ich sage noch einmal: Sie ändern Ihren Kurs.
Amerikaner: DIES IST DER FLUGZEUGTRÄGER "USS LINCOLN", DAS ZWEITGRÖSSTE SCHIFF IN DER ATLANTIK-FLOTTE DER VEREINIGTEN STAATEN. WIR WERDEN VON DREI ZERSTÖRERN, DREI KREUZERN UND MEHREREN HILFSSCHIFFEN BEGLEITET. ICH VERLANGE, DASS SIE IHREN KURS 15 GRAD NACH NORDEN, DAS IST EINS FÜNF GRAD NACH NORDEN, ÄNDERN, ODER ES WERDEN GEGENMASSNAHMEN ERGRIFFEN, UM DIE SICHERHEIT DIESES SCHIFFES ZU GEWÄHRLEISTEN.
Kanadier: Dies ist ein Leuchtturm. Sie sind dran.
Amerikaner: Bitte ändern Sie Ihren Kurs 15 Grad nach Norden, um eine Kollision zu vermeiden.
Kanadier: Ich empfehle, Sie ändern IHREN Kurs 15 Grad nach Süden, um eine Kollision zu vermeiden.
Amerikaner: Dies ist der Kapitän eines Schiffs der US-Marine. Ich sage noch einmal: Ändern Sie Ihren Kurs.
Kanadier: Nein. Ich sage noch einmal: Sie ändern Ihren Kurs.
Amerikaner: DIES IST DER FLUGZEUGTRÄGER "USS LINCOLN", DAS ZWEITGRÖSSTE SCHIFF IN DER ATLANTIK-FLOTTE DER VEREINIGTEN STAATEN. WIR WERDEN VON DREI ZERSTÖRERN, DREI KREUZERN UND MEHREREN HILFSSCHIFFEN BEGLEITET. ICH VERLANGE, DASS SIE IHREN KURS 15 GRAD NACH NORDEN, DAS IST EINS FÜNF GRAD NACH NORDEN, ÄNDERN, ODER ES WERDEN GEGENMASSNAHMEN ERGRIFFEN, UM DIE SICHERHEIT DIESES SCHIFFES ZU GEWÄHRLEISTEN.
Kanadier: Dies ist ein Leuchtturm. Sie sind dran.
Hehe, den kenn ich!
Mein Favorit ist immer noch der:
Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not?
Pilot: Yes.
Tower: Yes what?
Pilot: Yes, SIR.
Mein Favorit ist immer noch der:
Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not?
Pilot: Yes.
Tower: Yes what?
Pilot: Yes, SIR.
[img8vo]http://www.rc-marine.ch/clan/include/im ... lumley.jpg[/img8vo]
